Sam's gonna big a big brother...already.

Whoah. Yep, you read it right. We're expecting. AGAIN. I don't even know the due date. And I'm still so early that I won't be publishing this well into the pregnancy, but I thought I'd write it down so I won't forget every detail.

Well, it's the guessing game again. Remember all the fertility treatments we tried w/ Sam and finally decided to adopt? Then along came Sam? I've been praying and praying that the next time around, if we ever were to have another child biologically, that I wouldn't have to fight that awful fertility battle again. Of course my cycles are crazy and have only had one since Sam was born. My hormones were all over the place, and then I started on my crazy magical herbal supplements again. I was taking my temperature and noticed right away that they evened out. I've read about the "triphasic body basal temperature" as an early sign of pregnancy, in which it's low the first half, you ovulate, then it goes high, then even higher if you've conceived. Ummm...my temps were higher. Yikes. And I'd only taken my supplements for ONE MONTH. I really was just trying to get my cycles regulated.

So after having a WONDERFUL morning snuggling w/ Sam on Monday, I took a pregnancy test for the heck of it. (I'd taken some the week before, but all negative...I knew it was too early to test, but I was curious.) My heart had been racing, which I remember having alot of that going on when I was pregnant w/ Sam. And I was STARVING and EXHAUSTED. So I saw a very faint pink line. VERY faint. Like barely visible. I still called me OB, said, "I'm kinda freaking out b/c I have a 9-month old and I think I'm pregnant." She had me come in right away for a blood test. I went to Babies R Us to shop and take my mind off things, and I got the call from the nurse. "Congratulations. You're pregnant!" I screamed in the store, and asked Sam if he wanted a baby brother or a sister and he just laughed at me. Whoah. I'm going in again Thurs. to see if the quant level has risen, and I'm on progesterone for the first 12 weeks to maintain the pregnancy. We may even get an early ultra sound since, once again, I haven't had a cycle. They need to measure Baby to see how far along I really am.

So...my mind is swirling. After taking the test, I actually went to peek in on Sam while he was napping. I just peeked over his crib and cried. How could this happen? I have this little baby to care for and take care of?! He will only be around 18 months when Baby is born. How will I do this? Am I cheating Sam out of more time together of just Mommy and Sammy? I KNOW how much TLC a newborn needs. Oh Lord, help me. But I know that every child is your PLAN. You know every day that they exist. You knitted this child in my womb.

Then I starting thinking logistics: We need to buy another crib. A mini van (shudder). A double stroller. Two in diapers??? Will I continue to do cloth? Oh Jesus take the wheel...we're having another BABY!!!!

I told Jason that night. I got a shirt (the smallest they had was a 2T...assuming most people wait the normal-- at least 2 years-- between children) that said "BIG BROTHER." I wrapped it up and gave it to Jason when he got home from work. I said, "Just something to say Happy Spring. I feel like I haven't been nice lately and so I got you something special." I wrapped it purposefully so he'd open it and be looking at the back of the shirt, bur you couldn't tell. It was navy and gray, similar to one Jason owns. I said, "It's actually for Sam. I thought he could wear it to your basketball games and match you!" Jason was like, "Oh, that's nice. Thanks." I could tell he was thinking, "What's the point? You're weird." He held it up and then put it down. I said, "Turn it around." He read BIG BROTHER, read it again, and then said, "Really? REALLY????!!!! Who-hoooo!!!" He yelled and teared up. I was holding Sam, and so it was hard to hug and be crazy, so we awkwardly high-fived and held hands, and Sam started screaming because he got scared because he thought Daddy was mad. We laughed. We prayed. I hadn't made dinner yet, and I was going to make something out of ground beef. Jason said, "Forget browning that beef! We're going out to celebrate!!!" Of course Sam was fussy and needed his evening nap, so Jason put him down and I got enough Panera to feed three people. Which, it actually did....Jason, me, and Baby. Sam had broccoli and peas. So there ya go, folks. We're havin' another baby. God sure has a sense of humor, doesn't He?