Transition

I think I probably blogged about this when I was pregnant with Mary, but I'm going to write this again. Transition is hard for me. Especially when adding more to our family. I remember holding Sam and weeping toward the end of my pregnancy w/ Mary. I remember thinking it will never be the same, that he's my baby, and that things will be different from now on. Even when Mary was little, I'd sit him in the cart while Mary was in the front near me. I felt like I lost my buddy. The dynamics were different. Through our adoption counseling, I remember being warned that you may not have an instant bond. That your love for your child grows as the relationship grows. I know that now. With a crying, pink, wrinkly newborn you know you love this child, but you wonder if it gets better. And it does. Mary has developed her own personality. She is stubborn and independent. If you ask to hold her hand down the stairs, she pulls away and says, "I do it!" If you ask her what a cat says, she responds "meow" in the saddest, pathetic way ever. Like she feels sorry for the poor cat. If you ask her to come upstairs, if she wants a cracker, or if she wants to play with Sam, she'll say "Okay" in this silly southern accent that sounds like Paula Dean. She loves saying good morning to Sam and will wave at him saying, "Hi Sammy!" until he responds. She's lost without Sam. She always says his name and will look for him if he's not in the same room. Sam is just as sweet with her. He will be with me and then say, "I'll be right back. I'm going to check on Mary." Or he'll give her snuggles and they'll play and laugh and wrestle. One night I was reading a story to them in our bed, and Mary layed on his lap and they held hands and Sam kept kissing her saying, "I luz you, Mary." He also likes to play story time with her. He will "read" to her and say, "come sit, Mary. It's story time, not play time." Needless to say, it's better than I ever thought it could have been. Yes, the transition is difficult, but I still get individual snuggle time with them, and I couldn't imagine our family without sweet little Mary Ellen. Even today Mary woke up early from her nap and I snuggled her for 45 minutes while she slept on my large, jumping tummy. And yes, having a new baby will be tricky at first (3 in diapers!) but I know we'll get to the point where we will not be able to remember what life was like before Adelaide. I already wonder what her personality will be, what she'll look like, if she'll have her daddy's brains or her mommy's (hilarious) sense of humor. I can't wait. I'm due in nine days...can't wait to meet you Adelaide Joy.