Facing Fear

Well, there goes that whole avoidance of the label "back-surgery girl." Here I go again. Surgery scheduled for Sept. 7th. It's a disc replacement. My doctor wants to do this instead of a fusion, b/c it won't wear on adjacent discs and require future surgeries. Although the level above is narrowing, so that may effect me in the future...

Answers to prayer:

-Many people would choose the replacement surgery if they could. Many insurance companies won't cover it because it's a fairly new procedure. We had our doctor write a letter and an estimate, and our insurance is covering ALL of it! AND we've already met our deductible for the year. This is a huge praise. I thought we were going to have to clean out our savings to cover this!

-Child care. God has provided various baby-sitters to help w/ the kiddos. They are strong believers, which eases my heart. I know we could put the kids in a short-term day care, but I'm a SAHM. I'm around them all day. I can't imagine being in my house without them every day for 6 weeks. It's so nice to be home w/ them while I'm healing and give them snuggles, yet have helpers to lift them, feed them, etc. I am so so thankful for this.

Many people shudder at our story...10 days after Mary being born, I herniate a disc and begin a journey of physical therapy, epidurals, many medications, depression, anxiety, etc. But do you know how amazing it was? Yes, I literally was forced to lay in bed for many hours, days, weeks due to pain...but Mary was always brought to me at my bosom and I snuggled her ALL of the time. The longest I was away from her was for one surgery where I was in the hospital overnight. So through all of this, I've had Sam and Mary at my feet, in my bed, on the couch with me...it has been such a blessing. And HOURS of conversations with friends and family who come to visit. So many meals brought. So many prayers said. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude.

I have a peace about this surgery. I was reading in Isaiah today about how the Israelites were relying on their chariots and other people for help. I can see that in me...I've over-researched, read and re-read the scary risks, asked everyone for their back surgery-stories...wanting some comfort or affirmation that everything will be okay. You know what? God is my portion and the strength of my heart. I have no reason to fear. He's got this.