Back home.

Home. I'm finally home.

Wow...a lot has happened in the past week!

Last Monday I knew I had a consult w/ a surgeon. He's the "best" (everyone says that about their doctor, but he really is world-renown so I felt comfortable w/ his opinion). He recommended that I have a discectomy, which removes the portion of the disc that is on the nerve. By Wednesday I was having my pre-op physical, and by Thursday, I was having an operation!

It's amazing...ALL of the nerve pain is GONE! I haven't been able to sleep through one night or sit through one feeding w/o being in tears. If I even brought my chin to my chest, the pain would shoot down my left leg. Praise God! The surgeon said that instead of the whole back of the disc being torn like expected, to "bulge" out, there was a small hole on one side in which fragments of the disc poked through. He removed 3 large fragments and 1 small one. He said the placement of this hole over the nerve would cause quite a bit of pain, so it's good that we did this procedure. If I hadn't done this procedure, it probably would've created permanent nerve damage in which I'd drag my leg and it'd go completely numb. He said if I would've waited longer than 3 months, the outcome would cause some nerve damage, and if I waited till around a year, then it'd probably be permanent.

I can already tell the numbness is lessening, and he said that may go away w/ time. My leg is still extremely weak (I collapse if try to stand on tip toes), but Lord willing that will come back too. Of course he can't guarantee anything, so I'm praying that I get my strength back! I love to exercise and hope to be back up to par one day!

The most difficult thing about all of this is that I can't hold Mary. Technically, I can't hold anything more than 10 pounds, and nothing high up or really low. I'm like, "How do you soothe a crying baby, then?!?" I tried to hold her the day I got home from the hospital and was in tears. It hurt SO badly so have any weight on my front, even if I was trying to hold her completely still. Mary is around 12 pounds now. I also told the dr. that I have to crawl onto the floor to change Sam's diapers, and he said I can't do that for 6 weeks. He pretty much gave me some serious restrictions. He said I'd be feeling better sooner than later, but not to push it. Because until that tissue totally heals, it's ripe for re-injury. Which is what I don't want, b/c it'd be another back surgery ASAP, and probably a fusion. Which is months of recovery. SO I didn't come this far to get lazy and mess up and ignore his restrictions. So as hard as it's been, I'm having others do Mary's feedings. She's strictly on the bottle now, b/c frankly I didn't have much of a supply anyway, and w/ all of the pain meds and epidurals I've had, I've been pumping and dumping and it hurt to physically sit and hold her and nurse.

SO Jason has been awesome. He was up w/ her last night for her feedings. She's still eating about every 3 hours. I hope she stretches it out soon...we're hiring some different college gals to help throughout the week. Please pray this works out, that I can communicate what we need well, and that Sam and Mary both "warm up" to these gals. I feel so gimpy, but I'll need to ask for help in any task that requires bending over (getting Sam's bib on, feeding Mary, changing Sam, doing laundry, etc.) It's funny, b/c people would look at my paperwork through all of these medical appointments and say things like, "At least you don't have to work," etc. HELLOO??!!! I respond w/ the fact that I'm working full-time and being a SAHM is SUCH a physical job we have hired someone to be at the house full-time until Jason gets home! We're even thinking of hiring a night-time nanny to get up and feed Mary so Jason can sleep and get rested for work. That KILLS me. That's MY job. But he's literally doing EVERYTHING. He's going to get run-down and sick, and then we'll really be in trouble.

Anyway, this is definitely a stressful time. I knew it would be. But honestly, I've been so exhausted mentally and physically, that having a little time to recuperate has been heaven. I stayed overnight in the hospital, and had delicious room service brought to me the next morning. I had AMAZING nurses wait on me left and right in the hospital through the night.

Even this weekend. Jason's mom has been spending the nights on Friday nights, and I've really enjoyed our time together. She gets up w/ Mary through the night, and yesterday she brought me breakfast in bed. The night before she tucked me in and made sure I had everything I needed. I had the cable guy fix our cable outlet in our bedroom, so now I have cable TV in the room. I even started a book I've been meaning to read. So needless to say, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that we have some savings to pay a nanny for a few weeks if need be. I'm thankful that I have an amazing husband who doesn't bat an eye at helping. I'm thankful for insurance to have this surgery done. I'm thankful for pain meds while I recuperate. I'm thankful for all of the prayers I've received while going through this crazy time. I'm thankful for all of the friends and family who have been helping out.

Please pray for a full recovery and patience while I'm doing so...